Showing posts with label christian bale. Show all posts
Showing posts with label christian bale. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

let them frolic free and topless

readers, as surely you have noticed, i've not posted in a while. the reason? well, besides the usual (working paltry hours, tending to an insatiable libido), i've also been developing a pitch for a feature film. yes, i--ms. c.!--am about to make my foray into film world. my idea is simple: gather together the meatiest of hollywood man-meat and let them frolic freely and shirtless. with the right cast--ie, christian bale, eric bana, daniel craig, the dudes from 'the hurt locker,' ben kingsley (for gravitas!) and, in his acting debut, carne de rafael nadal--it's failproof. i've already written the script: buffed-up dudes meet at the beach, or pool or something; they take off their shirts; they stay like that; fade out. i've even made the poster.


now i don't know a lot of hollywood folk, but who could say no to something that's low-budg (with the exception of stars' salaries (i'm ballparking that for a cast of 7 to do a 2-hour frolic at, say, $100/hr, it would run $1400; adding food and emollients, $1445)), requiring no elaborate costumes, set or script and already including the gorgeous poster at left?? not anyone i'd like to know. i do have a skanky friend ('skank'), and she gave me this advance praise: '['a day without shirts'] is the greatest cinematic achievement of all time! the story was so poignant i wept.' and that, readers, is encouragement enough for me.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

knight in matte kevlar--and his jackass butler, too


as you well know (see WHALES conception if you don't), WHALES was borne out of resentment for jon stewart and his multi-faceted maleness. but, jon, i'm considering a replacement. what say you, WHALES?:

















while i'm at it, alfred may be a worthy contender: butler, confidant, crime-fighting assistant, caretaker of wayne manor, guests and batcave, medical/technical/computer expert, actor (with strong ability in makeup, disguise and vocal mimicry!), fully trained chauffeur, 4-star chef, and all-purpose mechanic. not to mention, alfred's accent is muy sexy. what an asshole: