today, i received THIS:
Dear Ms. C.,
On behalf of Jon Stewart and The Daily Show I am compelled to write after reading the description of this WHALES group. Before you and your subscribers become too dismayed, what may be the cause of the demise of your group I believe will ultimately leave you, well, happier.
Let me preface by saying that we at The Daily Show do peruse facebook/myspace/etc., to keep abreast of what our fans/foes are saying about us. It is a type of research. We have never before interacted with these groups—not unlike a wildlife observer crouches in the bush—to ensure said groups/interactions remain candid. We have decided to make an exception with WHALES due to the potentially serious danger it poses to impressionable, young women.
After I presented to Jon your letter (upon which WHALES is based, according to 'WHALES conception'), although flattered, he agreed that disclosure was in order:
Furst of all, I do not have meaty soccer-player calves. From the waist down, I am very Nicole Ritchie.
2. Whut does incendiary mean?
3. Sometimes when I fart, I poo a little.
4. A cock of steel?! I’ll have you know that phrase kept me up for days.
5. I DO like satyrs.
6. So…can I preorder some of those shit-brown undies? (see #3)
7. Are you insane, woman?—Colbert is so fuckable.
8. I was going for ten things, but I can only think of ate.
Now you see, and it does young women a disservice to belong to a group based on lies. There are no men out there with wings and fins and legs (Jon: Whatever the fuck that means). There are only men with calves in states of varying atrophy and shittypants.
I advise you take down your page and disband…unless I’m making your point? Uh….
Anyway, sincere regards,
R. A.
Writer, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
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