inexplicable optimism

last night, after a grueling workday, i was feeling inexplicably optimistic. dunno why: i was exhausted from my high-stress, executive-type job and have been celibate for years now, and that morning i'd walked in on my old-man flatmate, who stinks of moth balls, sitting in full-lotus position on the living-room floor--naked. even so, i was almost skipping down the street and feeling less and less fatigued with every step-skip. i ran a few spontaneous errands. i met some friends out for a birthday dinner and upon arriving at the table declared: i got a bikini wax--i am feeling VERY OPTIMISTIC!

it made me ask myself, 'are WHALES optimistic? is this (in)consistent with the WHALES philosophy?' then i said, 'that is an excellent, excellent, excellent question.' then: 'wow, me smarter than i thought.'

my quick conclusion? yes, WHALES are optimistic, for optimism and having high/unreasonable expectations and standards are not the same things. and optimism is a fine virtue--i refer you to candide and the teachings of pangloss. um, scratch that. anyhoo, WHALES can be optimistic because dammit i'm president and me say so. (amen.)

waxing WHALES

my friend once said to keep your wallet neat, clean and containing only the essentials. she said that in this way your wallet will be a welcoming place money will want to occupy and, once there, will be reluctant to leave. this made abundant sense to me--and i see no reason why we can't apply this theory to the bikini area. so, be sure to wax: keep it neat, hospitable, occupiable.

*WHALES may have low expectations but should still wax before a first date.