brave new world: flaskys

the economy may be in the shitter, but, oh, the sales! yesterday, i found two flasks--TWO--for the price of less than one-third of one. they are fabu.

i hung with both of them last night and realized that they each have a distinct personality. one has bright stripes, the other a floral print, and one is bigger than the other. i recalled my friend 'nabby' had named his flask steve and agreed that names were in order. george immediately came to mind: it is a friendly name. i always liked the names bert, bernice and gerta. willis sounded fun, then phyllis (cool-aunt name), phinneas, raul, javier, archibald, reginald, wesley, ludwig, wolfgang (wolfie for short), humbert (i'd call the other one humbert as well), rusty....

even while in bed, names kept coming to me. i got up to write them down. it was 4am; i was tres fatiguee. i consulted 'jazzy,' my most pragmatic friend. he'd named his el flasko. i said fuck it and settled on flasky--flasky 1 and flasky 2. if i felt fancy, i could say un et deux. i went back to bed. then i thought: if flasky shows me a good time, i could say good flasky, if bad, then bad flasky. if naughty, then naughty flasky! i could punish/reward as i saw fit (e.g., do you want to sleep with me, flasky?). i lay awake, thinking.

today, exhausted from lack of sleep yet excited still, i told my friend about flaskys. she said, 'that's like my son: he named his turtle turtley.' i nodded. 'great minds think alike,' i said. 'he's four,' she said. i have found my inner child. it seems anything's possible in this world of flaskys.