i spent thanksgiving with my friends 'tardo' and 'jazzy' this year, and the gratitude flowed like water:
me: happy turkey day--thanks so much for having me!
tardo: so good to see you--it's been ages!
jazzy: it has been a long time, since before my show.
me: whoa, that's right! by the way, how was it?
jazzy: i was awesome.
me: did you play jazz?
jazzy: why do you say that, because i'm black?
me: no. because your name--
jazzy: thanks for reminding me i have a dumbass name.
me: it's not dumbass!
jazzy: it got my ass kicked every day as a kid--
me: that was long ago--
jazzy: are you calling me old? thanks.
me: no! it's just that now you're a big dude and--
jazzy: great, now i'm fat. thanks a lot.
tardo: (to jazzy) oh, pookie. (to me) there's a show on tuesday--come, and bring li'l willy.
jazzy: his name is Little Willy?
tardo: no, he's just got a small pe--
me: thanks, tardo! tell everyone, why don't you?
jazzy: i'm 'everyone'?
tardo: and, what, it's not like you're screwing him anymore.
me: thanks. like i needed the reminder.
tardo: (to jazzy) she hasn't done it in, like, forever.
jazzy: yipes.
tardo: (to jazzy) thank god i have you.
jazzy: (to tardo) ditto.
(tardo and jazzy make out)
me: i brought pie....
(me holds out pie)
tardo and jazzy: (sucking face) thanks....
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3 comments:
that's the most mixed up view of last night ever! i wish i could post a picture here, the one of you all alone speaking to your imaginary friends and two extra plates of food!
dear 'amanda':
you remember it your way; i'll remember it mine. personally, i think--i mean, i'll guess--that you had way too much kahlua to accurately say one way or the other.
ps i bruised my knees again.
dear ms. c,
again, you're alien shapeshifting. it was not i that chug a lugged the bottle of khalua. how many times to i have to tell you i can teach you to spontaneously genuflect without injuring yourself. when will you learn?
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