kindle starts a fire (in the loins)

there's a hot debate going on over the value of kindle, amazon's ebook reader, or ereader, or whatever. as you know, i like the book and on occasion, say, when vacationing in remote lands, where there's no tv, cinema or men of acceptable cleanliness, i've been known to read it. so naturally i must weigh in on this kindle thing. i haven't used one, nor have i seen one, but i agree that it will change the face of books, publishing and the universe in general, eliterature in specific. sure, it's easy to dismiss these ewhazitwhozies due to the limited ebooks available, lack or poor quality of pictures/photos and the inability to simply leaf back and forth as i love to do with a paperback (also, i frequent the front and back covers, for clues as to what the hell book is about), not to mention the exorbitant price tag and stupid name, but there's one thing that clinched it for me: no more snickers at my favorite reading material. by the way, the following are (no, really) available in kindle editions (and, as bezos points out, you can read with one hand). i know, i know: i'm a hopeless romantic.















and topping the WHALES reading list:














and not just for us literati, there are practical books some people need read--and would--if none would be the wiser:














in light of all this, i say, the uberjolly bezos is positioned nicely for the hilton prize (if the prize were awarded by pervs).

cybersonals (TM!): a playground for singles, swingers, studies

we're hi-tech people, living in a hi-tech world, which makes it possible to perform numerous tasks without ever leaving home, including meeting people, dating, generally socializing (those things were such nuisances, so thank god for this). naturally, i have perused online personal ads--what sort of relationship expert would i be otherwise? (explore all paths, one must, to call oneself an expert.) and today, i share with you two main thoughts/snap judgments regarding dating via sites like nerve, match, craigslist, etc.

1

though i have never met a dating potential online, i have two friends of greatly differing opinion who have. my friend 'robin' met his girlfriend of 3 years via craigslist; but my friend 'robyn' swears that there are nothing but dorks/pervs to be found on such. let's for the moment put robin aside, and rather concentrate on robyn, because for whatever reason i find her more trustworthy. and the ads that i've seen were clearly written by dorks/pervs--not that dorks/pervs are less human, only less desirable. also, the people who 'cruise' cybersonals (TM!)--save for robyn--are dorks/pervs (i imagine, and so will present as fact). this is terribly problematic, and i shall tell you why.

only one person per couple should be the dork/perv. it is like the yin-yang, black-white, potayto-potahto law of the universe. 2 dorks/pervs, and the balance, the chi, is fucked. yes, cybersonal (TM) world is just a cesspool of dorks/pervs cavorting with other dorks/pervs. i say to you academics: what an opportunity to observe/study in the wild this pure and dense population of dorks/pervs!

note: since no WHALES is either dork or perv, we are free as birds to trudge as we wish through the mire of cybersonals (TM) and couple with a dork/perv.

2

though we love the convenience and ego-preservation (no more facing rejection) that cybersonals (TM) afford, my second concern is one grave and consequential. of course online dating sites have their flaws, and believe it or not disappointment is not unusual when/if people actually meet--live. now, i may be the founder of WHALES, but not as a result of fear of disappointment, but of celibacy. and trust me, WHALES, you will experience disappointment answering cybersonals (TM) (or you are one muy fortunate bitch, or so says robyn).

however, the real danger lies in the way in which people will largely begin--and simultaneously cease--communicating with one another. i've known many a man who can type up a witty line or even two but in person, if this line be spoken, loses all verve. and this will only worsen with more time online and less practice, live. thus, my growing, gnawing fear: prevalent social retardation in the future--culminating at anthropophobia. there ought to be a study conducted on this, too: the correlation between diminishing social faculties and increase of elationships. this is a call to action. personally, though not a sociologist, my recommendation would be that elationships not constitute more than 80% of one's relationships, the absolute limit at 90%, plus or minus 10%.