when i moved down to nyc from upstate ny, i got pulled over doing 87 mph--in my hyundai accent. dear readers, are you familiar with the hyundai accent? if not, they are fabulous on gas but not otherwise. i'm no automotive expert, but i'm gonna guess that my accent, whom i affectionately call 'goldie,' has, like, 2.25 cylinders and 24.5 hp. don't quote me on this, just a guess. regardless, i love goldie and miss her.
when the officer questioned me, the only defense i could manage was: 'but-but-but it's a HYUNDAI! i never knew it could go so fast!' turned out my reaction wasn't completely nonsensical, and the pig gave me a ticket for running a stop sign. even so, just the thought of diminutive, benign, typically 30 mph-moving goldie being charged with a crime--any crime--was something i never could have imagined. i guess this is a rare instance of low expectations fucking with you.
in the end, goldie racked up $400 in parking violations her first month in brooklyn. consequently, i drove her back upstate, parked her at a relative's, stripped her plates and took the train back to nyc. i haven't seen her in 16 months.
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