okay, people don’t really ask questions–and i understand, really i do. it must be very intimidating, addressing the president/founder of WHALES. but fear not, for i shall answer the questions you daren’t ask.
that’s right, here are questions i frequently ask myself, or QIFAM:
Q: does WHALES have an agenda?
A: you mean, like a day planner?
Q: what hobbies do you enjoy?
A: i don’t have hobbies per se, but i do spend an awful lot of time interviewing me. one has to prepare oneself for the windfall that is inevitable in this case of WHALES. in my mind, i’ve already granted larry king first dibs–i mean, did you not see the marlon brando interview?? (’kiss my foot, larry; go on, larry, kiss it.’)
Q: do you hate men?
A: good grief–do you even read my fucking blog, you fucking idiot? god!
Q: which is better representative of your brain: swiss cheese or a teeny, tiny raisin?
A: can i say average-sized raisin, aerated?
Q: are you a lesbian?
A: you know... okay, that’s it. go fuck yourself; this interview is over.
that’s right, here are questions i frequently ask myself, or QIFAM:
Q: does WHALES have an agenda?
A: you mean, like a day planner?
Q: what hobbies do you enjoy?
A: i don’t have hobbies per se, but i do spend an awful lot of time interviewing me. one has to prepare oneself for the windfall that is inevitable in this case of WHALES. in my mind, i’ve already granted larry king first dibs–i mean, did you not see the marlon brando interview?? (’kiss my foot, larry; go on, larry, kiss it.’)
Q: do you hate men?
A: good grief–do you even read my fucking blog, you fucking idiot? god!
Q: which is better representative of your brain: swiss cheese or a teeny, tiny raisin?
A: can i say average-sized raisin, aerated?
Q: are you a lesbian?
A: you know... okay, that’s it. go fuck yourself; this interview is over.
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