Wednesday, August 6, 2008

QIFAM (questions i frequently ask myself), cont'd

A: sorry. it's just the frequency with which those questions are asked--it's exasperating. can we start again--pretend like that ugliness never happened?
Q: you mean, like a virgin?

A: precisely. i do that all the time, by the way.
Q: you act like you're a virgin?

A: well, i don't stand up and declare it so; i just allude to it.
Q: oh?

A: oh yeah. or, in the least, i pretend there have been very few, and very far between.
Q: how do you pretend--?

A: oh, ow! sorry, it's just i'm not used to--oww!
Q: good grief.

A: hehe.
Q: um...

A: i know. it's awesome.
Q: can we--if you don't mind--get on with the q & a?
A: yes, LET US PROCEED.

Q: all right. this is a question that actual people have asked: would you say WHALES are feminists?
A: okay: WHALES are feminists.

Q: no, i mean, would you call them feminists?
A: sure, if i ever met one.

Q: no, i mean--
A: yes, whatever do you mean? it would be nice if you would prepare yourself for these things a little. you know, i have a soul-crushing day job, that i happen to be at--and neglecting, as we speak--and as you know i have this time-suck, i mean blog, and you've heard in past posts about the bourbon and the unruly hairdo--

Q: all right, all right!
A: just sayin. you could put a little more thought into the QIFAM.

Q: ....
A: well?

Q: i'm thinking.
A: oh.

Q: ....
A: ....

Q: what--?
A: this better be good.

Q: never mind.
A: do you want to hear more of my 'virgin' act?

Q: no! well, i just thought of a question: what happened that's made you so cynical?
A: i say, good question. and it reminds me of one of mcnamara's rules in 'fog of war': don't answer the question you were asked, answer the question you wish you were asked. so, my answer to your question: no, not much. i like fish, but i try to stay away from red meat.

No comments: