analyze this: (no) hopes and dreams

women often write me with their lists of desiderata regarding men (which always vexes me, given that i've written extensively on the ills of making/having such lists (see WHALES conception); at times, it's like i'm talking to a brick wall!), and more often than not, 'someone with whom to share my hopes and dreams' appears. the first thing, hope, is something that i endeavor to completely squash in all of you, for there is no place for hope in WHALES. in fact, my first idea for the group's name was WHALESNOH ('and NO Hope') but, the H being silent, it would've sounded anti-whales, which would not have been good (not that i'm particularly attracted to whales, but i have nothing against them, either). however, the second thing, i can relate to, i really can. but really won't anyone do in this regard? to illustrate this, today i shall candidly share--with YOU--a dream of MINE:

i was in a helicopter over a mountainside. it was a scary ride. we came dangerously close to the ground many times heading to the valley. once on the valley floor, we bobbed and swayed in one place for a long while. i almost puked. turns out we were at a mcdonald's drive-thru. after all that, we parked and went inside. i spilled my coke on a big skier-dude. pissed, he followed me into the ladies room and demanded i give him my panties. i thought, sure why not have my panties (freak). but my panties had developed polka dots, such as they would measles, so of course i couldn't give them to him. he called me a tease. when he said it, it boomed throughout mcdonald's and beyond. mortified, i stayed in the bathroom and ate french fries. (i couldn't stomach a burger.)